A birthday gift

The best engine in the world is the penis

The best engine in the world is the penis. Mine is a fantastic example of this but let's not get too personal. I don't know you yet. The reason I say the penis is the best engine in the world is because it can work in any vagina, needs practically zero warm up time (unlike vaginae which so very often need "time" to "get in the mood," is flexible in its application (unlike vaginae which are in a "fixed" location), doesn't need any lubrication (although some is nice), starts with one breeze or vague thought (unlike vaginae which can start with "one finger" as you stated, and it needs no oil change.

It's way more flexible than a vagina. For example, I have used mine as a door stop once."

"I'm thinking of calling my husband's piston "Optimus Prime" because it always transforms into something big. :D"

"It's a shame that the most useless thing in the world is a penis. It hangs out all day with two nuts. Gets excited for no reason and spits all over itself."